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9:03 a.m. - 2008-05-15
the ipod plays the song, but not the lead vocals.. yeah.
stop and stare.

this month should go faster, next month too.

i just want to be.. normal.

i dont have crazy, well, ok maybe my goals are a little crazy, but a year and a few months is doable.. especially if I start swimming next winter.. ohh that would be nice.. to swim again..

i love swimming.. loooove it..

the y wont be so bad, i mean, its not like my brother's friend will stare.. he wont.. and who knows what could happen..

yeah i still have a memory of a stupid crush on him, but.. he's growing up so its not terrible.. and hes actually responsible.. and he'll still be in school until Im done..

whatever i have to stop fantasizing about this.. concentrate on myself and forget all the rest..

especially that guy who asked me to go home with him.. although I needed to hear it.. walking by the dh is NOT the place, totally freaked out all the way home.. alone.

I had a dream last night, about starspinning with J ...

i dont want to talk about that really either.. cuz P would kill him.

and im not joking about that. we'd have to call the cops..

or get D and C and other strong intimidating guys who know how to subdue someone to take control..

ughh.. i dont want to think about this..

ok i have to go..

ugh i hate having feelings for a guy LOTS of other girls like, what is WITH that fucking nonsense..

why cant i find a gem that no one else recognizes?

oh yeah, cuz they're CRAZY..

let's go flying at the speed of sound and I'll show you how it all began..



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