9:29 a.m. - 2008-05-28
I might be able to get a new comp too, maybe.
it has to come before the end of june, because thats when im forcing my mom to quit this HELLISH job she has and get a new one..'
Im really REALLY sick of living with a mom who has reverted to being the hellspawn she was when she was working and homemaking and raising 4 kids..
at least she's not drinking.
and Im not keeping JD in the house until she gets a new job.
no temptation. because this is finally feeling like a safe haven from everything (despite the fact that P works across the street and I have nightmares of him watching me through the window)
and I dont need another raging drunk to invade my safe haven
so P is still taking me to Leonard Cohen. and I prayed last night and told God that if we get in an accident that P has to die and NOT ME, for Julianne's sake..
it should be uh, well, i dont really want to dwell on it, but Im happy that it will be the last thing I ever do with P.
Ive made that decision at least, and it hasn't been too hard to come to.
which means Im growing up and moving on and i feel alright about that mostly..
i think M is going to get his heart broken by her.
ugh. take a step back for a second and look at the WHOLE picture.. check your pride and your ego.
And probably I will go to the bathroom and have a cry for a while for my aloneness, but meh, par for the course for weddings eh.
Im late for school. but at least Im going..
today is black day at work.. OFFICE OLYMPICS, the only day I didnt have to get a tshirt for, because I ALREADY have black hehe..
hehe. death to the merry makers!
im really happy Ive only got about a year and a few months left at this godforsaken job..
then SKOOOL for five years.. and after that, probably two parttime jobs as a nurse.. hopefully a fulltime one, but only if Im lucky..
or maybe in six years there will be fulltime empty spots..
hmm maybe i should invest in a new ipod type device that lets the singer sing...
jesus christ i cant type im shaking so bad