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9:12 a.m. - 2008-07-02
cant. wait. to. give. you. a. piece. of. my. mind.
This week is hard. Im pretty anxious.

Juli threw up yesterday (x3), but spontaneously. And theres sticky phlegm in it. And she's not eating much.

I can only get to a doc at five today.

new job starts today.

old job is REALLY fucking busy (we have a people capacity for 200 deals, the count on monday night was 1016, 10 people on holidays, and five people called in sick on monday, so Im assuming at least two will call in again today)

So I dont know how much of my new job I will be doing.

Lawyer visit tomorrow.

Trying like hell to organize rides and shit for me and Jen and Tali to get to the buck and doe. Tal's phone is fucked and she doesnt have the internet. so thats fun.

I should be in the shower so i can make it to school this morning, so I dont get kicked out.

I have to tell teach Im not coming in tomorrow because of the lawyers meeting

Im paranoid that he's going to show up or break in or something. Just be randomly drunk and freaking out on me.

Im hoping the lawyer can give me some concrete dates for court.. or something. anything. I need some ammo for the buck and doe, when I will undoubtedly see him.

ohoh I dont know if I said this, but he suggested counselling somewhere last week. Convenient. He spent the friday/saturday at that Amanda girl's wedding with LISA and all of a sudden counselling is at the top of his list? after calling me an idiot and threatening me ("if you dont answer right now it will cost you hundreds and hundreds of dollars") and laughing when I gave him my lawyers name?

SO fucking irritating. Its too fucking late. I KNOW Im you're backup I KNOW you only love me because I used to do EVERYTHING for you. I KNOW. Stop trying to pretend that you 'love you, forever', because I KNOW you dont, you prefer the prettier girls and when they act like NORMAL GIRLS, you hate it and go well, I can always get Beth back.

FUCK THAT. Im sick of being last on your list of priorities.

Im sick of Juli being last too.

I wish I could smoke. .....



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