10:54 a.m. - 2008-08-14
She put on happiness like a loose dress
Come kiss my face goodbye,
My Lord, how long to sing this song?
So I got in his car, and we drove around, and ended up at Williams, and we walked through the papers, which was hard. He doesnt see himself as the shitty father that he is...
BUT he started counselling this week (sssshhhhh, please dont say anything, iknow you wouldnt but i just have to say it)
He has asked me to delay this court thing for a year, to give him time to sort his shit out.
And mine too.
I made it clear that I had no intention of moving back in with him, as I am going to school next year.
I dont think he's accepted that reality yet, and prolly wont until I get an acceptance letter, or maybe until I get halfway through the year and he realises Im fucking serious about nursing..
He doesnt advise going to school fulltime without a job. His logic was that he did that for two years and look where that got him..
I didnt think of this until later, but the BIG difference between our education is that I have a gaurantee of a job before I even start the program. The nursing shortage is only going to get worse in the next six years, and I will be able to walk out of school and into a job once I graduate, making at least $25/hour to start.
I dont remember having SUCH a good conversation with him SOBER since before I was pregnant... and even then, I cant put my finger on a specific memory..
He LISTENED when I spoke, he didnt make me feel like an idiot.
I actually believed that he respected my opinion and wanted my input. I wasnt wasting my breath.
So Im going to talk to my lawyer and see if theres any possibility of postponing this court case until January.
Moms going away for the weekend to my grammas, so Im hoping he will come over, although I dont want him to STAY HERE, but he probbaly will considering he is homeless right now..
but I want to tell him that he has four months to figure out if he wants to be a responsible person, who pays his rent, who pays his bills, who treats others with respect, or whether he wants to continue on the way he has been living since I moved out. (which is he does whatever he wants, pays certain bills, buys a guitar he cant afford, buys a car he cant afford, stops paying rent, moves into a room in a house, only pays a months rent, decides that the girl who owns the house is a bitch and moves out a week after moving in, and is now ?? livigin out of his car I guess, but there is still crap in the old apartment on campbell court, which he hasnt paid rent for since June.)
God I wish he would just GROW UP. It would make my life a lot easier if he could take care of himself.