10:24 a.m. - 2010-04-28
It fucking hurts still.. even when Im dreaming of him getting hit by a car just to get out of this mess of a 'relationship'...
He was in Calgary on the weekend. With Carolyn. And Im an idiot for thinking that making him wait would make him look at himself, or make him try harder to be a good dad..
HOW CAN HE LEAVE? How can he move to Calgary in August?
And tell me that its my choice whether he does or not.
Why does it feel just like it did when I heard him talking on the phone to her that night?
Probably because Im still taking care of his baby? Because Im still losing sleep and he's sleeping with someone else.
No one else will understand what the hell Im doing.. No one else gets why I held on to hope for so long..
k Im going to text Kristin and hopefully I can hook up with her on her lunch break... even for a few minutes..