10:03 p.m. - 2010-06-08
putting it out there...
okay he said Lisa's name. So I was wrong on my first guess haha.
Anyways. I think he is finally FINALLY getting it through his thick skull that NO MEANS MOTHERFUCKING NO. Took 25 min of him almost dragging me into the livingroom. Luckily, I used to play rugby and I recently (in march) joined CURVES, so mofo could NOT just push me down like... um, nothing. Nevermind. I havent confirmed whether those times were in my head or whether they actually happened. He denies them, (and got really pissed, kind of like when I insinuated that he could be a carrier of an STD, which is TOTALLY TRUE since he refuses to wear condoms, so yeah the other could be true as well) so for the record, lets just say they were horrible nightmares and move on, shall we? (because otherwise? this relationship is more fucked up, and so am I, and if that is true then there really isnt any hope that I will ever find someone normal to even my balance and be a good father to my children)
The point of course is that he told me he has fifty days left at the store. 5-0. Count down is on. Also: he told me that he would be taking Julianne the Friday afternoon before your wedding, and that he would be bringing her to the park to hang out and play WITH LISA. And that he might bring Dorian too.
I didnt let it spark me. I calmly took it in and then concentrated on my children going to bed.
So let me spark here, because here I am NOT MATURE AND CALM...
I WILL NOT BE LETTING HIM REPLACE ME. Just for the record, as soon as I get moved and get Mom paid back, I am saving for a goddamn lawyer.
Im currently trying not to freak out.. Im going to have to get some legal advice when I get back from Cuba.. or maybe I should look into that before I go..UGH. like I dont have enough to do before Saturday!
I NEED A GOOD JOB!!! like now. Or December. Or whatever.
Dear Universe, thankyou ever so much for the perfect living arrangement, I am SINCERELY grateful and have committed to ensuring this roof stays over my head for as long as I can keep it there. Because it is perfect and lovely.
I am putting the next into your capable hands. I need the best job that I am CURRENTLY qualified to work. Part-time, for good money. I need this to coincide with my current employment ending, so taht I dont have a hernia. Thankyou, universe.
And I will write. and write and write. Okay Gen, could you please stop banging on my brain now? Ansd tell Caes to stop sneaking into my dreams, mascarading as someone sweet and sexy, THAT IS NOT WHO HE IS. The sweet one is the demon.. the incubus, to be specific. Oh yeah, Ive complicated the original premise nicely. Gen whispers in my ear every night.. that last entry with the 3600 words? That wasnt really 'Gen' the office girl in love with Nathan(vampire), but I needed to just write and not worry about a female name. I get completely stuck on names. So I have decided that my Muse's name is Genevieve. Amd yes, once I get the first story done, that char is names Gen for realz, but in the rough drafts of everything else, the lead females will be Gen and the lead males Caes. Because I cant write without names, it completely trips me up. so there you have it. Until I get more professional and write everyday, thats how it will be.
Steampunk is fascinating.
I need help with a resume, once I am moved and your wedding and parties and things are completed and you have NOTHING to do for the month of august!! haha
