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7:43 p.m. - 2010-08-02
cant wait to fall in love again
You are married now. Isn't it insane how quickly it's over? Well, we stayed at the hall until 2am at least and partied at Jennie's until about 4am....

I have a TON of shit to do this week. ugh.

Patrick hasn't said a word directly to me since I flatlined him at the party at 530am.

We were the last ones up on Sun morning (the sun was coming up when everyone wwent holllly fuck Im going to bed) Patrick wanted to talk to me, and I was wrecked so I sat beside him.. He tried to kiss me a bunch of times and I literally did not respond. I stood or sat there doing nothing while he tried to kiss me.

Five or six times. He hasn't said a word since. Not one. And he made eye contact twice.

So I don't know if he's pissed or what. But he's not making any indication that he's going to start paying child support.. he stopped in May.

So yeah. Im going to food banks this month to save up enough money to start with a lawyer and hopefully it will be complete in the next six months. I have about 4 yrs of being on EI coming up while I'm in this Seconnd Career thing, so I will beat my pride to death every month and walk into the food banks in order to get him to take some responsibility.

I fucking hate going into those places and lining up and telling them what you want... FUCK. and Dave's SISTER was there... the nice one at least.. I dont think I could have handled it if it was the one that works/worked at the bank..

I literally hyperventilate before I go in. Its so fucking hard. I hate having to do this. but I owe mom $1600 because of the car and her need for us to move two weeks ago (instead of September, like I wanted) soo yeah.

I don't know. Again, I have about three pages of To Do Lists. One I can't afford and probably wont afford until tax return time. One I might afford. and One Im making sure I can afford.

I guess we'll see if getting served papers is going to unloose his bitter tongue.

K i gotta go pick up the kids now. And ask mom for the car tomorrow. Or the next day.

I want to write out the memory I have of the party this year and of your wedding. Im trying to save all the flowers too, but I dont think Im doing it right.. aw well...



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