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10:23 p.m. - 2010-10-31
first it comes along creeping quiet. I want it to be halloween everyday, then I could dress up like someone else and be them forever.
More unwanted tears during my evening routine... apparently crying my eyes out while doing dishes is becoming part of the regular deal.. UGH..

Then I came up here and wandered onto facebook to see all the pics from their halloween party... fucking sucks how they are all into halloween after Im out of the picture..

Cant SOMEONE else have a fucking baby already?!

ughugh.. so Im considering sending them all to davy jones' locker.. (yep I'm still using Pirate English, because its fucking awesome) I just hatehatehate how the only contact I have with any of them is random invites to support Jay's band and Patrick being surly.

He took Juli out tonight, came over early, and took her around for 30 min, she came back with a full bag and he tells her she needs a shorter skirt next time. Which translates into she was tripping on it beacuse he wouldnt HELP HER WITH HER STUPID COSTUME, he let her trip up the stairs instead of holding her wand or something so she could hold up her skirt.. PISSES ME OFF..

But I shouldnt be surprised, really I shouldnt. It's ALL ABOUT HIM, right? yeah...

We got a total of 16 trickortreaters. I'm not sure what the hell is wrong with people.. but really? 16? Where are the KIDS. There is a school not TWO BLOCKS from my house.. its K-6, so where are all of those kids?

Julianne saw her best friend while trick or treating. She was eating supper. At 630, on Halloween. OH her mom smiled at me and acknowledged my presence on Friday, all on the SAME DAY at the SAME TIME! holy shit! I thought this woman was going to ignore me for the next 6 years... She's skinny and fashionable, so I s'pose I understand. I prolly scared the poor girl, what with my girth and tattoos and generally half homeless appearance.. torn pants, stretched hoodie, runners. you know. Ive never owned a pair of pointy toed heeled boots in my life, and this girls momma has worn four different pairs so far..

I swear to GOD, Im an alien. Im truly not meant to go outdoors, in public, other than with my family.

My hair's falling out again. Im ignoring it. Just like I ignored the dropped glass syrop bottle that smashed to fucking bits and brought me to tears that other morning. Because my hand dropped it. I DIDNT, my fucking hand did. The same one that dropped the applesauce jar on your wedding day.

My body is betraying me now. And I'm ignoring it.

Im gonna go read entries now, and then play solitaire until its 11, then I will read more Butcher... cuz I have to finish this book before I start the series properly, otherwise the timelines will get hopelessly tangled with the other 14 books Ive started this year and havent finished. Yes this is what Ive done, replaced people with things, mostly books, then hidden these books in with other shit that I dont need. THen when I find the book, its like Ive found an old friend.

Cuz I can't seem to find any real life old friends. Just pretend ones on facebook.



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