10:17 p.m. - 2010-11-02
I dont know if Im getting better, but the apartment is getting cleaner.. despite the billows of dust from the heat vents.. ugh.. doesnt help that soem of them are directly on the floor...
I should be in bed.. ughhhh. I wish I wasnt a nighthawk.. ugghhhh Im not gd 19 anymore go to bed!!
Might ahve to put the meal planning on hold.. until Dec.. I might have to visit the foodbank again. motherfuckerrrrr.. I really dont want to. But I really need my car back on the road and the only way I can do that is if I ignore my bills, and maybe get some free food..
Cuz I wont have a paycheck for three weeks in November.. and the gov't money is going to pay rent, and diapers, and formula. and Juli's lunches.. and the babysitter for three days ($75). uggggh.
Im pretty lucky my sitter decided to take eight days vacation right ebfore I started work.. theres no way I could afford anything at all if I had to pay a sitter $120/week for those two weeks in a row..
god this is going to suck..
I'm afraid to look up numbers and do some math, to find out that I would truly make more money on welfare....
I have to, have to, have to, just stick it out until the support money starts rolling in.. and I have to be smarter with my tax return this year (ie, pay off debts)
Did you know, that even if I pay the minimum payment on the line of credit (patricks schooling one) I will be free and clear in less than a year on that one?! and my Visa is down to less than $500... soooo Im getting those whittled down to nothing.. on my own!! and thats an extra 100 a month for mee and my kiddos once those are taken care of.. WOO! Im really proud of that actually.. two less stones in my stomach..
Maybe by next fall I can afford a newer honda pos to haul our asses around in when it gets cold.... maybemaybe.. If I turn into a menuplanningfreakazoid..