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11:48 a.m. - 2010-11-22
fake it till you make it
So Mom clued me in that my Dad might cosign the car loan for me. Which, theoretically, will make them hand me a car with the keys this afternoon. I don't really have a lot of faith that it will get approved, probably because I work for the Bank and I see the ridiculous amounts of money other people make and my stupidly low amount (as in, Dave pays more TAX per year, then I get paid. And that's my GROSS INCOME, not my net. Yeah. Fucking depressing that.)

BUT who knows. He's calling when he gets up. I have printed out some car specs to bring to the dealerships, but I think the Hyundai Accent is the only one I can logically afford. I'd be pushing it for the next three months, and I don't really want to push anything when Dad's cosigning. That and I would like to eat now and again. Or maybe buy a new pair of pants, since I only have two left that fit me.. but maybe the not eating will help me out there a bit.

Dad mentioned (and this got lost in the carstuff, so here it is now) that it looks like Ive lost weight. That was nice. I know he wouldn't say it unless he really thought it. He's not one to build me up with lies. So, it feels alright. My really cheap scale doesn't agree, or, didn't agree a while ago. I stopped stepping on it, because it depressed me. Somehow my pants were fitting better but I had gained weight.. And while the 'muscle weighs more' argument is tempting, when you are topping out at 310, there isn't any logical explanation other then you are burning fat one place and storing it somewhere else.

So yeah, Im avoiding all scales until I go to the docs and I HAVE to get on one. Even though I know those ones aren't all that accurate either, just from having to bounce around to different ones or weight until the right one was hauled back to maternity/OB ward..

K I have ten minutes.. before my comp crashes. I'm going to play a game and try not to have a heart attack from nervousness about radiating responsible adult this afternoon....



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