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10:24 p.m. - 2010-12-20
zuma blitz is a timesuck
So, today has been mind numbingly irritating..

and not the kids! (well not themselves) haha

So Julianne had four nits in her hair. Again. So I stayed home with her, Patti has about a dozen kids there this week (and all the Stams) so I didnt want to risk uh, giving them something terrible like headlice for Christmas. but honestly, I think the buggers were living on the coat hooks in her classroom and while consequently die in this two week interlude... I hope.

Anyways, I was home with her, so i got my christmas cards done, and decorated mom's place a little, even tho she didnt want it. But we're having Christmas Dinner there dammit.. and I wanted all the stoopid things my brothers and I made for her in HER part of the house.. so I snuck in and delivered.. I left the cards from Lori in the box tho... because even I get a little weepy looking at her all caps handwriting..

It still fucking sucks.. and I still dont know what to say to mom except Look, I had another grandbaby just for YOUUU in 2009, so that it wasnt the Year of Total Suckage. Just the Year of Unending Suckage.. because it revisits you...

apprently mom has a blog too. I read it once. She doesnt write much. Which means it will prolly be years until I come back.

I wish my whole family had individual blogs. Or maybe i just wish I had the guts to email some people.

OKAY the other super annoying bit of today is I realized I did it AGAIN.. rationalizing someone's ASSHOLE behaviour because of my candycoated view of them....

Nathaniel, the Chaplin from StMike's you know? He is my neighbour. His house has a steel roof. Rick told me that he helped install the thing 5 years ago. And that it should have ice hooks on it to stop the Sheets of Death from sliding off and mangling someone. Or killing someone when they are less that 4 ft tall.

SO Mom had a passing chat with Nathaniel. And he HID BEHIND THE 'THERE ISNT A BYLAW' LINE.


Im so fucking mad. Im mad at myself, for trusting that A) he just didnt know about ice hooks B) he is meaning to get some on C) some other bullshit reason I hadnt really thought hard about but was another stupid excuse..

POINT: He lectured me about how abortion is legal and WRONG. Because its KILLING SOMEONE. And now, he's lecturing that its okay to kill someone, if it's indirect and it's uh, well, there's no law about it.

AND he advised my mom that he is GRACIOUS ENOUGH to offer us to tell the landlord to build a CARPORT..


Fucking hell. A CarPort. Not even a garage. A 2x4 structure that will snap like matchsticks under the 4 foot by 4 inch skating rinks that come off his fucking roof.

So much for him being one of the good guys...

I was composing scenerios(sp) in my head about it, and getting myself worked up. So I hope like hell he saw the fire in my moms eyes and realized he jsut made an enemy and maybe he wont say hi to me. Cuz motherfucker I am not letting him off the hook with that shit now...

Dont fucking pretend to be interested in me as a person when you know FULL WELL that ice from your fucking house could kill me OR MY KIDS OR MY MOM at any fucking time...

yes, a lot of fucking, but I cant articulate at this point. I want to go slam his head against the gd wall..

Okay here's what I HOPE happens. I hope ice falls off and richochet(sp) SO HARD that it breaks one of his basement windows.... maybe THEN he will spring for the gd ice hooks..

But in the meantime, Im writing a letter to my landlord regarding the one doorway in our apartments that has been filled with drywall, and Im going to ask if it could be turned back into a door, because I dont want MOmma dying because she slams her door, or sneezes when she walks outside or soemthing.. and I dont want to be runnin to get the laundry and have an avalanche come down on my head...

We'll see I guess. I'll offer to sign a lease for 5 yrs and see if that will get him to do it for us.. I think its the better solution than the dksla;jgsdfkg carport...

okay so i feel alittle better. oddly enough. purging here is starting to work.... maybe i wont need to pay a shrink big bucks to tell me im crazy..



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