3:18 a.m. - 2011-02-27
it's nice.. good time with amy and rickers..whom I will be calling Spike from now on.. because he had a mohawk tonight..
its really erally REALLY sad that I look atthat relationship and see alllll the ways that Rick and I are more alike then amy and him..
I hate it, I hate doing it, noticing it.. I hate getting his jokes when shes sitting there going... "What?"
They are looking at houses.. they are set for life.. i love hanging out with them because we can ALL sit there and talk adn the only one that feels awkward is me (on the inside)
onyl because Im damn fucking unhappy that I was blinded by the person I thought I was in love with and couldnt really see Rick for the person he is..
I did a minimally stupid thing. I joined and that single parents thing on the internet.. the dating thing..
but JEEZ if i cant at least SEE that there are single dads out there looking for someone, and who care for kids on their own I will give up all hope and get real bitter...
so yeah. here i am. sitting here, thinking about someone else's wedding and wondering if I will ever love someone enough to wear their ring.
Maybe in ten years?