11:15 p.m. - 2013-12-30
You wonít always want to talk to people. Thatís okay. When itís late and you hear your friends talking in the next room, you donít have to join them. Youíre allowed your solitude. It makes company sweeter and it teaches you how to survive alone. You will need that skill.
In the winter, youíll believe that nothing will ever grow again. Youíre wrong. Every year, London looks like itís on its last legs, wheezing through those last cold days in March. Every year, spring comes like an explosion and the city shakes off its sleep.
Mundane problems will get the better of you sometimes. Donít worry. Try as you might, life cannot be an endless, beautiful, intense moment. Find comfort in money worries and late trains; theyíre a welcome rest in between heartbreaks and breakdowns.
People will call you a cynic, a wry smile on their faces. Pay them no mind. You alone know that you are capable of a love greater than anything they can comprehend. You alone know that you are not willing to sell your identity and respect to the first smirking halfwit to pass by. It is not cynicism. It is reverence for your own vast and fathomless heart, and it makes sense only to love someone who understands that and is awed by it.
You will not always get what you want when you want it. Accept it. Your goals are not set in stone and you are not on a fixed trajectory. Sometimes, life will take its time and you will have to play the long, interminable game. Play it well and with as much grace as you can muster. Live at your own pace.
At night, you will occasionally wake up afraid, wanting to die. Donít give in. Night plays its tricks, but you are not so easily fooled. Your mind will play its tricks, too. It will make you believe that youíre not who you are, but you must not give in. You take a breath and you tell yourself that you are here. That you always were.Ē