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12:21 a.m. - 2018-08-13
live pixelated meteors
I'm watching a livestream from Nasa so I can see meteors. I've seen one so far.

I feel like the camara is zoomed in too far and I'm missing most of them..

which is a lot like how anxiety makes me feel.. like I'm zoomed too far in to the details and I can't appreciate the bigger picture.

I saw another. That's two.

The little guy was sick last night, (if he's sick his appetite wanes during the day he might complain of a sore tummy once, and then he throws up between 10pm and 2am, sometimes more than once, but usually only once and that's it. then he sleeps like a log and he's right as rain in the morning again) so my.. foreboding lump (i guess that's what im calling it) in my torso shrunk a bit. It's still there but it's not choking me anymore.

im supposed to go to the library to print out forms to enroll in a hydro subsidy (Ive been using my ac almost non stop since I got it... i havent gotten a hydro bill for this excessive use yet)

im supposed to print out character sheets for the d&d game I'm going to try to run for the eldest's birthday at the end of the month...

im supposed to go to that other bank to get a new debit card for an account i thought was closed but apparently isn't because that's the most convenient way for child support to be paid... by me going to a bank i never go to in a place i never go to twice a month to pull money out of an account. if he puts money in like he said he will. The entire range of possibilities has already happened in this situation, so i have no idea how this is going to pan out. I wont rely on the money and if it happens to be there, bonus.

im up too late talking about aliens and meteors and nasa with ceej and it's gonna be okay. i just saw another. that's three, and goodnight.



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