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5:35 p.m. - 2018-09-12
it's a lot. It feels like a lot. It feels like everything is riding on this interview
Two days.. two days.. what did i do since i updated last.. two days..

oh developements on the job front. Did i mention the soul crushing thing I had to do last week? The hiring lady for that job I interviewed for had contacted me last week about coming in for a second interview since they had another part time delivery position open up, and I declined saying some nonsense about my car not being in as good of shape as I thought Reality is Dad told me not to take a delivery job since it would be too hard on the car and make it not worth it, I think that the ever widening BLANK HOLE in my resume is going to do more damage than some wear an tear on the car but since he's paying for all the major stuff and most of the minor stuff I shut my mouth and declined the second interview offer, without telling her about having tot ake the advice from my Dad.

I finally check my email again on Mon, and there was one there from 4 days ago from the hiring lady saying that they have a company vehicle for deliveries and if I change my mind to contact her asap.

I scream a little (a lot) and email her back. And then constantly refresh my inbox until I force myself to walk away from the computer and forget it, because it was after business hours and I just had to let it go.

I then remembered that my doc appt for this month is.. this month, so checked the date and screamed again because I have to have bloodwork done. Checked the appointment times available for that, and there's none at 8am until MONDAY next week, and my appt is on THURSDAY next week, which is possible, they've done the labwork in two days before but Monday is also the first day of breakfast club at Youngest's school and he really wants to do that again (and so do I because it would SIGNIFICANTLY cut down on my grocery bill because they basically serve them a full hot meal in the morning, so I can encourage him to have cereal at night! huzzah!)

Soooo I went to the library Tuesday and printed the requisition. then I had to leave to drop off the sewing stuff (yeah apparently since I agreed to meet her 'halfway' then that's what was expected this time. Fkn flakey twit)
i got paid for the sewing. Sewing lady is not sure when she will have another batch for me (am I fired.,?) soo.. yup. Inside my head I'm screaming about the delivery job still.

I spent the sewing money immediately on rain jackets for the kids, and a shirt for Eldest (possibly for bro's wedding), sleeping shorts for youngest, a pair of shorts and a pair of pants that may or may not fit me (because what if I have another interview to go to!!!!!!!!!!!). And then had to send the rest to school for photo day today for Eldest (pay immediately or no photos, so, that's great.

Got an email back from her late Tuesday, and have arranged for the second interview for Friday. I'm supposed to bring my resume again, which means going to the library and typing it out again (FFS!)

I haven't tried on the pants I bought. I'm trying to figure out what I'll wear if they don't fit. I can't find my one pair of black flowy pants that sort of look like a skirt if you squint, which sucks because even though they are getting old they at least fake looking nice for a little while. AND THEY DON'T HAVE HOLES IN THEM LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE. fuck.

I'm trying to stretch out my last $10 to make it to Friday, Dad said we can get some groceries that morning. I'm also going to get my change rolled at a machine and go look for more pants.. if these ones don't fit.

Okay I'm going to try them on and probably have a cry from the anxiety of this week. I've read approx 12 articles about how to survive a second interview but they are all geared towards office jobs, and this isn't an office job or remotely an office setting and a part of me is a little pissed that they are even doing the second interview, but maybe it's because I didn't ask questions/??? So now I've got a List of questions to ask her.

Okay, Im trying them on. And then I'm going to take my painkillers and play warcraft and breathe through this ever tightening spiral of anxiousness.



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