8:33 p.m. - 2018-09-25
persevere
I got the job, which is why I've not been updating, I had too many things to throw in place so that I could start asap for them.. and then last week i thought I wasn;'t going to make it. My body decided it was like going to the gym for 5+ hours a day and told me 'lie down or fall down!' every day after work..
I've got three more days training in the car. I keep telling myself it will be better once I'm on my own and only have the evening full time guy breathing down my neck, rather than the two full time guys, the HR lady, the owner's and everyone else that's there until 5pm..
My brother gets married on Saturday. I'm considering asking the landlords to let me pay my rent three days late so that I have some kind of cushion for Saturday... I feel super weird going to a wedding completely fucking broke.
Pay day isn't until Oct 4th, and I have to pay for parking every day, and I'm too exhausted to cook. I'm still eating the rice I made 8 days ago.. tomorrow I might make soup, if the weather flips back to fall.
I'm still getting that stomach pain in the mornings. I don't know... maybe it is an ulcer. But you would think that it would be worse in the day? when there's food in there? No I haven't googled it yet. I'm closer but I haven't yet.
I'm making a list of things I have to get with my first pay. L o L i'll be working on this list for the next year, since I don't work enough to make enough to buy all the things Ive listed on it. (super crazy things like a knife set, because im tired of the ones I have literally rusting when they e in the drawer.. a new shower curtain because I just cut the bottom off the old one to get rid of the mold that constantly grows on it but it's getting short... PANTS because i have one pair to wear to work. maybe two if the tiny hole that's in the crotch of one doesn't get any bigger in the wash.. a new bra because this one is literally falling apart and might not last this round in the wash either (I'll hand wash the next one i promise)
I used to use the app called Wish, because you can get super cheap stuff, but then it's super cheap and you dont really know how super cheap until 8 weeks later when it makes it to you from China. I decided that kind of delay plus the shittiness of the products just made me feel even worse about the $4 I saved by not going to the Dollarama and buying it in town.
I need to find a place that sells the cargo pants of my teenage years, the ones with 100000 pockets.. I need those for making deliveries, so I can stash things like my phone and my licence and a pen and the little clip board and all of that so I can have my hands free to lock the car and close the door and knock on the door etc etc. I miss those damn pants something crazy now.
Pants with any kind of pocket would be an improvement though. Fuck the design of "womans" clothing. Fuck it all the way to the sun.
oh yeah and Id like to be able to spend $100 on groceries. that would be awesome. I'm trying to avoid the food pantry, because I know they want to sign me up for thanksgiving baskets, and I just... most of it is food I won't have time to cook and will just rot in my fridge or on my counter. BUT I know they give a food card (for the turkey, technically) and also buns and a pie of some sort..
I'm still working on the canned food I got last year.. it's hard to eat a lot of it at once..
