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3:06 p.m. - 2019-12-06
one cold every two years is not bad
I have a head cold that makes it hard to concentrate.

My eyes feel slightly larger than my eyelids.

The med my doc put me on isn't working quite so well the past week or so. The stuffy blanket of hopelessness is creeping back in. But just around the edges and maybe just because I'm sick, and also I think my period is due..
I stg I was tracking it very well for most of the year, but the last two months I forgot to and. well. there goes knowing anything of when it will start.

I finished the first season of Spartacus, (i feel like im typing weird now since they speak so formally on that show) and I can't with the second 'mini' season (who gives a flying fuck about Batiatus when he was sort of younger?? he's the bad guy of the first season?? And not likeable at all?)
So I tried the first ep of the third season, and the actor they picked for Spartacus has puppy eyes. A Gladiator with puppy eyes. So i think it's time to just take a break from watching that for a weekend. or at least until tomorrow night.

I work all weekend, and Monday too. Feels like there's not a single day off from responsibilities for the rest of the month. Tis the season.

I emailed the HR email yesterday, since the schedule for the last two weeks of this month was just balls. One fulltime guy off a week and a half and no indication taht anyone had agreed to take his shifts? Despite him requesting the time off back in August? I'm guessing whatever part time HR person they had is gone, just from the rubbish that's been popping up again, and the fact that my email wasn't answered until after business hours by one of the owners.

I texted the other part time guy and we've got the schedule sorted out, I've managed to get all the family christmases off, and took over enough shifts that my paycheck should be fine, but I couldn't switch the 4 hour shift on youngest's birthday, so that blows. I'll have to hang out with him for about an hour after school, make pizza for them, and then maybe call my mom in to do cake and ice cream with him, just to make sure he's not feeling alone on his actual birthday. He's got two other things going on but they arent on his actual birthday, bleeehhh. Whyd I get pregnant in March. Christmas is complicated enough without this birthday stuff on top.

I havent played warcraft in so long my brother noticed and questioned me about it. I said something vague about the Hong Kong strike, but I don't know, but I can't seem to bring myself to log on. and I haven't been reading. What the hell do I do with my days exactly? Dishes, and laundry. And kill spiders. And feel sorry for myself like a lump.

Three ravens decided to tear holes in the garbage I put out this morning. Mine and the neighbours' bag. I have absolutely no idea why these three birds decided they needed to get into it. They didn't touch any other bags on the street, just ours.
I chased them away a couple times, hissing like a cat, so they ended up circling and landing on a neighbours roof and watching me. I haven't cleaned up the mess they left yet. I kind of don't want to know what was strewn on the snow after whatever the hell caused them to pick and pluck giant holes in the bag was pulled out.

Have I mentioned that birds make me uneasy? I don't know why. If one appears to be watching me my heart speeds up and lodges in my throat. It's stupid.
I like to think I'm better since C let me pet his hawk, (falconry is so fucking cool) but the ravens today weirded me out again, so, not over my bird thing.

I finally started listening to LP again. you know, without the crying. Small victories.



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