11:12 p.m. - 2020-03-19
everything is so weirdly fucked right now
I've probably said this here before, but goddamnit, the christmas you spent with me should *not* be your favourite.
I mean, it warms my heart and makes it feel so so so full that it is your favourite (because it was perfect, and completely stressfree, and honestly its my favourite too but dont tell my kids),
but your wife, man. Your fucking wife. Why the fuck didn't she listen to you even once?
Look, you know that Boundaries book I was talking about, it mentions several times about marriage being total submission, by BOTH husband and wife, total submission to each other and I'm not exactly sure what the hell that means, but it feels correct. It feels like, duh, yeah of course that's how it's got to be.
Someday I'll actually have a copy of that book in my hands and it'll be great. But ya know, until then, I'm going to randomly remember that your favourite christmas is the one with me and I'll hold that in my heart.
Even if I hope with every fibre of that same heart that you find someone that can actually listen to what you want so that you some day have a new favourite christmas.
And maybe.. maybemaybe, some day, i'll find someone like that for me.
