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10:14 p.m. - 2020-04-06
sound of the washer filling with water
Okay, so Ive figured out what is the thing about this 'new normal' (god i fucking hate that saying)

it feels like being on a boat, and it's on the sea and there's this storm on the horizon that keeps getting closer and the sea is getting worse, more and more choppy, and okay, sure, you know how to swim but you keep getting knocked off by waves, and then getting back to the boat and climbing on board, on your own (and that's the constant level of panic and anxiety everyone is feeling)

and the captain (country government) keeps telling you how not to get knocked overboard, but they keep saying things that other captains said two fucking weeks ago, that you heard over the radio that your own captain shrugged about at that time

and the first mate (province government) says contradictory things but also is trying to throw you a lifebouy on a rope, but he keeps forgetting to fucking tie the rope off somewhere so you end up dragging the lifebouy back on board with you so that it can get properly tied off and can be flung out to save someone else. (trying to log in to a n y fuckign government website or form or call them or anything right now, its a complete crap shoot)

So you get back on the boat and yell DAMAGE REPORT, and keep trying to hang on, and tie off vulnerable people because they will d i e if they go in the water, and it's just getting worse.


So anyways, back to a normal update. Saw mom and gramma on Sunday. I ended up parking at the curb in front of her apartment's little porch thing (shes on the main floor) and speaking in sort of loud volume to them from the curb. Kids stayed in the car. I got out to grab a bag of chocolate easter stuff for the kids, and mom grilled me about 'how they are REALLY doing'

guys, dudes, friendos, kids don't care. kids could really care less about the world melting outside unless they actually see it. And man, I dont show my kids that? Eldest knows shit is going down but has pretty much decided he's never going back to school or seeing his friends in person ever again etc, and has gone entirely down that dark rabbit hole, or at least thats the way he talks. but i think its more for shock value and also to hear me make an arguement against it
youngest is in his own little bubble of videogames and transformers and not having to go to school. hes worried, but in a vague way, because everything is basically tyhe same, there's no bombs going off, and I dont come home from work bloodied.

Adults dont seem to get that it's existential panic to a kid, because there's nothing for them to see, and we dont listen to or watch any news casts, ever. I dont bring that into my home because we are all a little high strung here.

Mom has finally relented to admitting she's a high risk person, so at least I've got both parents on board now. I talked to her about getting one of my brothers to do grocery runs for her and gramma, since me doing it would be dumb considering I have the most exposure out of anyone in the family with my delivery job, otherwise I'd already be doing it !

Huh i just notices the news at the side there, guess there was a black out of the old dland


I really should look at a paid membership, I've gotten well worth the money out of this site by now. Im going to add that to the list orf things to look into when I'm on an off week and not working 6 out of 7 days again

Homeschooling officially started today. I worked all day so it didn't start for us yet, but I did manage to pick up the chromebook the schoolboard provided for youngest, and also I have a bunch of computer stuff coming in the mail so I can set up my old computer in the kitchen and hopefully get that running a couple games on and also so we can practice with a real keyboard, apparently these kids dont get typing class??? They just get handed and Ipad in grade seven and left to hunt and peck with two fingers???

That's insane to me. Also I loved doing typing tests so guess what kiddos, we're alllllll doing typing tests heh

So back to the homeschooling, it's not really homeschooling, it's two hours a day mon-fri for eldest and one hour a day mon-fri for youngest.

If I wasn't working full time hours all this week I would be totally doable. but I am, so uh we're not starting this week. I got home from work today and faceplanted on my bed and slept for two hours, woke up to my whole body screaming.

We are back to it being busy as shit at work. And Im still exhausted.

I actually felt like a weight was sitting on my chest midday, but Im also wearing new bras so I dunno if it's actually anything to worry about or just part of the breaking in a new bra process.

I discovered, after tucking youngest in bed, that i did not in fact start the laundry when i got home from work, so i'll be up for a while waiting to flip it from the washer to the dryer. whoops.

I paid for some paramedics in the drive thru at mcdonalds today, they happened to careen in behind me, so i thought this is something i can do.

I dont remmeber ever seeing an ambulance go through a drive thru before mid march this year, have tehy always done that and i just never noticed? They never came through timmys when I worked there... but that was years ago. 10+ years ago now. it's weird to think about that some times. My fallback career, always, is slinging coffee. no matter what happens I can walk into a tim hortons anywhere and get a job.

Guess if my hours get cut back to nothing I can always go to tims.

Not that that is a particular worry at this point, with the way things are going we are likely going to be the only pharmacy remaining open, due to our small workforce and lack of 'essential' groceries. We don't have nearly the foot traffic coming in, everything is coming in over telephone or online.

People are still pissy we've locked the back door, making it so they cant just roll up and illegally park at the back while they run in to the store. I like it, as much as fiddlign with keys is annoying with your hand full of packages, it's worth it to always have a spot to park the work car and not have to worry about idiots flying in right beside me to park

I'm going to roll around dland and see if I can collect some more people who are diarying their new lives..

bye for now darlings



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