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2:04 p.m. - 2020-04-13
listening to mike shinoda's live stream
I got groceries. It wasn't as bad as last time, i think last time i had a day off and felt good enough to run out it was a saturday, so hopefully i wont have to do that again, hopefully i can stick to weekdays, and maybe even order online sometime durign the rest of this year... sigh. i miss my online ordering.

Still fairly busy out this morning, or maybe just seemed busy compared to the almost nothing of yesterday..

and a person cut in line in front of my cart, only to finish paying/bagging to walk right back up the line of the till, while the cashier was saying Ma'am, MA'AM PLEASE DONT GO THAT WAY, and being ignored as this woman wandered her way back to the pharmacy aisle. Those people are the ones that are going to get us armed goddamn security at the grocery stores.

Entitled fucks piss me off more than anything else. Ive noticed that lately loud and clear as the assholes tend to be the only ones left in great numbers wandering aimlessly out of doors. I can pin a lot of my spikes of anger moments to entitled fuckery happening around me.

Im trying to breathe through it. Trust that karma or something will get them in the end.

Ive tried coffee and medicine and chocolate and breakfast, and i still feel like garbage. Im going back to bed, while I still can.

Im expecting one or both of the fulltime delivery drivers to either get sick or take more stress leave.. so im trying to remember to rest when I can. evebn though there is dishes and laundry and so so so much more

I listened toa book called 'Decluttering at the Speed of Life' at work last week, and Im re-listening to it again. It's absolutely helped. In concrete ways, frickin immediately.
It's a switch from either the organizational focused decluttering or the emotional focused decluttering.
This way, you literally look at your place as a container. One that has limits, because it has to fit not only your stuff in it, but also YOU and your KIDS, and have room for the important part of a living space, the actual LIVING in it.
And also focusing on your life as it is right now, as opposed to the life you think future you is going to have or the person that future you is going to be. It's being honest with yourself about what kind of a person you are right now, not what kind of person you assume in vague ways you are going to be at some point in the future.

I can work on my apartment in 5 minute intervals or 3 minutes or whatever, and I can see the little ways that's already changing how my place looks. And I'm recognizing where my hangups are specifically with not getting rid of some things, and how I can work through those hangups.

Hense why Im listening to it a second time. I want to make sure I hear everything she wrote.

one of my original dland friends (that migrated to facebook once he stopped posting here) has covid, and so does his dad. im worried about him.

It feels like the tension spring has tightened another notch, my landlady upstairs has anxiety real bad on the best of days, and she is having trouble right now. Im trying to help, but my sense of humour doesnt come off well in text messages, also im pretty dark and gallows humour-y by nature and she's not really about that.

ugh my internet is so frustrating. i dont understand why it just, doesnt connect properly some moments and is fine the next.

im posting this before the wifi kicks off again, bleh



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