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9:14 a.m. - 2020-04-23
the rain pattering on my egress window
We are getting into a kind of routine at work, still have to ask and pause and say please and thank you extra hard because so many of my coworkers are treating me as if I'm actively trying to infect them.. and Im trying to be patient with them on that front, but considering im the one out in the community i feel like they can just fuck off...

I'm trying to wear a mask whenever I know I'm going to come within 6ft of people, any people. It's hard because the masks I have are all home made and don't really fit, but Im trying to make it work. My glasses fog up and then i cant drive. So the option now is to take it off and on all the time, which is the opposite of what healthcare people do, but i also am not a health care worker really. im just a drug dealer.
The one that's the easiest to get on and off is also the most uncomfortable. But Im trying to wear it for longer and longer each shift. Hopefully i'll get to a full shift soon, minus water breaks.

I didn't end up making a to do list yesterday, consequently I did very little. I did pick up the distillery and grocery orders though. And the frozen soups came as expected.
Now we have a shitton of groceries and all i want to do is order in instead of make food. typical.

there's also approximately 10,456 days of dirty dishes on the counter, because i hate doing dishes. I'm going to try to get at least a sinkful done today. Usually when I start I just keep going until they are all done, and then i dont want to do any more ever again, and then 10,456 days later im in the same place again

i need to make the kids help me more regularily with dishes. and vacuuming/sweeping.

Ugh I wish second hand stores were essential, at this point I just want to start throwing things away to get it out of my place, off the floor, disappeared from sight. I might drag the 'one bag' a week idea out again, since I never really started it beyond piling things we dont want in boxes and then stacking the boxes in ever increasing piles because i was too tired/sore/in pain whatever to get the boxes up the stairs and into the trunk. One box I can handle, and then i let it build up like the dishes and it becomes an impossible job.

So, since I'm working every other friday morning from now until forever, perhaps on the weeks I work friday evenings I can gather one bag of stuff, and throw it away. and in that bag I will also put the guilt of not being able to give these things to second hand stores, because every other household is holding things right now and the stores will be overrun when they open again, so it's not like the stores have bare shelves. Or will ever have bare shelves. in fact when have you ~ever~ seen a bare shelf in there? Never. So, just throw this shit away to get it out of the space it's taking up in your mind and also your apartment that's already small to begin with !

And, actually, if you gather the bag of garbage the thursday before, then you can have it all bagged up and not even think about it too hard on friday and just toss it to the curb.

Also, you need to order a drill. Then you can actually put up curtain rods, and stop using nails in the walls to hold up sheets. You have everything you need to have actual real life curtains, and the kids wont have to stand on a chair to let in the only good source of natural light in the whole place.

Okayokayokay, im going to order a drill and then start a sinkful of dishes.



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