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9:16 p.m. - 2020-05-01
everything is gonna be fine
Ugh, my ex's parents are exhausting.

Both of them go for months at a time without even texting me about how the kids are doing, let alone seeing them, and both are texting me and facebook messenging me, and asking me how things are going and if any of us are sick yet and blahblahblah

Ya know, if you could go almost 20 weeks without a single text or anything between summer and winter last year, you can go more than a week now without pestering me with the same questions over and over again.

I just want to say piss off to both of them. I have no idea if you actually care or if you are just bored now, or if someone made you think about the fact you have grandchildren and you feel guilty. But I'm betting I can guess which one it is because it's exactly the same as the ex

As long as things in your world are trucking along just fine you don't think twice about the kids, but as soon as something happens, suddenly you are all about how much you miss them and how much you care and blahblahblah.There are probably a hundred ways you could reach out to them yourselves, and not all of those have to be done on a computer, fucking why do i have to tell a 70 yr old man it's okay to write a letter to someone??

emotionally stunted people are exhausting.

I wish I had more compassion but goddamnit, Im done. Stop jerking kids around. If you want to be a part of their life, GUESS WHAT you have to actually be a part of their life.

In other news that isnt really news
Im anxious today, Woke up this way. I think it's because its garbage recycle day, and i had to get the kids up to help me carry all that shit up the stairs and out to the curb, and then run to work, and then it was busy as fuck at work adn then i drove around for a while since it's been about a month since I drove over 60kms in my car and Dad says I should get it on the highway at least once a week but Ive been forgetting without my usual get the kids to school routine, then I got groceries but i timed it wrong and had to pee like crazy half way through grocery shopping (should have gone at work ebfore i left, but i keep forgetting i can't just use a restroom randomly when im out doing groceries or getting errands or whatever)

So I came home, peed, got the groceries away, the recycle bins and garbage can away, laid down on my bed for a bit and realized it was 4ish and I couldnt really nap without just being in bed all the rest of the night, got out of bed 6ish, alarm went off for mom's zoom at 8 and now I'm talking to C again. ish. he hasn't responded in a bit and might have gone to bed.

I feel like I havent been able to relax at all, but i know it's because i didn't get everything i wanted to get at the grocery store, which means i have to go again tomorrow afgter work and for some reason Sat afternoon is still the worst time to get groceries

BUT if I wait until Sunday, then that means I have to leave the house on Sunday and I'm trying to not leave the house on days I don't work.

So, like, I just had to physically unclench my jaw. and it's frickin 10pm. i neeeeed to sleep soon.

holy shit the grocery pick up has spots available on sunday ! I'm totally doing that instead!



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