11:58 a.m. - 2020-08-10
prolly an hour more of dishes to do
I keep looking for comfort. That's it, thats the thing im craving that i keep trying to find, for some reason i cant hold that thought in my head while I'm actively going fromt ask to task to task to task, but that's it.
guess that's why i end up having a nap so often, because i exhaust myself trying to find something i can really only get from another human being
and i have no words with which to ask for the kind of comfort i need, so i survive on the crumbs that Im able to locate on my own,
the articles shared with me on facebook by K (someone i havent seen since before March, because im waiting until she feels comfortable enough with my exposure at my job to invite me and the kiddos over for her gatherings, but i dunnno if we will ever make that cut),
the happy smilies sent to me by my mom when she's feeling okay,
Dad changing a burnt out light bulb that i cant reach,
C playing warcraft again so i can fly around him in game and annoy him,
wandering through warcraft and finding things that i know the developers spent time coding and putting together for a simple pun joke, or watching the sunset at the shoreline in game
little little things that keep me going
this is from 30 min of doing the dishes, this is why i hate doing the dishes, i whirl around inside my own head and cant make the spinning stop
