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12:22 a.m. - 2008-03-16
shiny and new and wishing for lithium
Im back. Im debating whether to lock this or not. I probably wont, just because he doesnt know what diaryland is, and as long as I keep my other one dead, i think this one will be safe.

I just dont want him snooping around profiles and finding this.. but i want to let the people who used to read me know that Im still alive!

Im totally freaked out and exhausted. Babygirl is on a puffer and taking childrens motrin every six hours.. Im not sleeping, Im listening for her breathing..

I wish i could just move somewhere far away and he would leave me alone.

I freaked out my boss.. I didnt mean to, but I was low on sleep and hadn't really talked to anyone about the note i left for him to find. So she was as worried as Nik is for my safety.

I really wish Andrew would switch back to the black layout.. erg.

i really want to listen to lithium right now. and im thinking i may have to go out and buy the cd tomorrow.

instead of buying food i will buy cds and cigarettes. one cd a month. one pack of smokes a week. how does that sound?

I swear to god I want to be at least 50lbs lighter for your party this summer.. not to mention the first of many weddings. I really have to work on that. Should be easy now that Im not dating the fastfood addict.

guh. i hate memories. im drowning in them. mostly from the first seven months. you know, before i got pregnant and he went crazy.

different topic. my throat hurts and my eyes are scratchy i cant cry anymore. i cant.

Mom and I may have found 'our' place. Ihave to go look at it yet, but Im satisfied with her description.. three bedrooms all of the same size, across from Foodland(Knechtals), about 5 blocks from my babysitter, fenced in backyard, a couple blocks from a park, our own driveway (!!! right now we share with two other apartments)

ok i can hear her coughing in the bedroom. i should finish sorting out my ipod and try to sleep.



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