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8:07 a.m. - 2008-06-17
all i have to say about thta is, jen is LEAVING YOU for july and august, in their entirety, so she can just eff off! seriously.. im so glad you and tali and amy dont act like that, maybe thats why Ive never gotten very close to jen, that and we have the same insecurities in a lot of ways soo.. not a good scene when we mix them..

speaking of mixing them, i wonder if she has lost 30lbs like we dealed on new years?

she prolly doesnt remember it, although IF SHE HAS, Im going to be super jealous but not say anything about it either way.. haha..

I dont want to go to work today. I have yet to hear ANYTHING about that job I applied for, and Im getting pretty sick of waiting, fucking place. gah.

I saw K and D and their kids C and A last saturday morning, and I got really pissed, and sad.. ugh. the same way I always feel my heart sag in my chest when I hear about how D gets calls ALL THE TIME from our friends, to come out and drink, and I NEVER EVER get one single fn call.. they call D and text P but they can't fucking call me ever. UGH. so frustrating. Because its NOT just for poker.. its for going out period. although I think its only that drunken boy who laid on J's lawn for a while that calls him.. ugh, i just hate that no one thinks of me ever..

Like am I really imagining the fun we had at MandL's wedding??? It makes me doubt, just DOUBT, the entire friendship between me and EVERYONE. I hate it.

And A has a phone now, so its not like she has no way of getting ahold of me, she has my number BECAUSE I PUT IT IN THERE.. ugh. whatever. Im going to stop thinking about that..

Soo I cant remember if I went to school on thursday.. I really hope I did, because if I didnt, then I might get kicked out today.. because I have an optometrist appointment at the other side of town and theres no way I can get to school at nine and then get to the office by 9:45 with time to actually get any work done.. I think I will mention in my message to my teacher that this is special circumstances or something and apologize profusely and see if I can come in later in the day or something.. I dunno.. I hope I dont get booted.

Im pretty sure I went, but not positive, I know I went on tuesday for like 1/2 an hour, and not on monday and not on wednesday, so I would have HAD to go on thursday..

ugh I remember thinking hey I always go on thursdays and hardly ever on mondays weird, but I dont know if that was this past week or the week before..


and legal aid is at 1:30pm. Im going to try to walk to both offices. and then bike home from work. and maybe take a look at those pills. drastic measures are being called for. why? because I literally gag when I look at my mom's fb pictures of me. I cant believe I let myself get this big and disgusting.

ok on to better things.. I know that J and H would be PRETTY upset that I made out with that guy.. and I felt kinda bad about it for a bit but seriously, we were RREALLY drunk and it will likely never happen ever again..

aww I havent had a good summer story like this in soo long..

so nice to feel normal again.. like I did before I had J, before I was with P, like that person still exists and can still randomly make out with really drunk friends hahaha..

It did feel like falstaffs days.. like all blurry and shiny and I hurt from laughing so much..

I didnt get to see T's ring, he had ordered it, but hadnt got it yet.. so excited for that tho..

L DID finally get to the doc!! and everything is healthy and happy and good and sunshine and lollipops.. she had her first ultrasound as well and there's only one baby and its healthy and normal and she's only about 23 weeks along, so thats MUCH earlier then we thought..
and last night she told her momma, so progress is being made on that front as well..

and I don't know about C having a diary... I haven't heard anything

k im going to call my teacher and hopefully I dont screw my life up too badly..



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