8:33 p.m. - 2011-05-14
the learning curve and ASH for TorCon
I'm looking up PTSD, because I know nothing. I should have looked it up before, but I think 2010 was the Year of Stupid Hope.
Hope that Patrick would finally grow up.
Hope that CJ would come home okay.
Hope that I could actually singleparent without losing my goddamned mind.
Hope Hope Hope, with no background support, nothing to indicate that it was justified in any way. For any of the above rridiculous Hopes.
This whole ignore it until it goes away thing? Yeah it doesnt fucking work at all. And I know that. So why do I keep doing it?
And on this same thread, the hope thing. I have a friend (follower!! I still can't believe she followed back) It's a woman who is married to a man she met on the internet. AND he was 44 when they met in person. So. I'm okay. It's okay. I might not be forever alone.
Another thing on the hope line? 3 weeks. The FRO has assured me that I will start getting payments in 3 weeks. They fucked up the deduction notice by not putting an amount on it *insert incoherent screaming* But it's sorted out now, and was mailed on Friday to his employer, so. If I don't get a payment in the next 3 wks, then I should call them back.
I wish, I really really wish I could see the look on Patrick's face when that first deduction comes off. Because they can take up to FIFTY PERCENT of his pay, until the arrears are caught up (currently the arrears are over $1200)
Sooo yeah. I dunno, but I'm now nervous that he will quit when he sees the first huge deduction and it 'ruins his life'.
It's been raining all day. I love it. I can hear it on the roof. So awesome. Sososo.
oh and fair warning, I'm going to have a Femullet in October. For when I go to TorCon. You know, if this whole Patrick continues to make payments thing works through the summer.
Because I will be dressing up and possibly cosplayin as:
THAT sexy motherfucker..
Mostly cuz I can't find any pics around of anyone else dressing up as him, and since he gets burned to death by demons and he's a exceedingly awesome char, I thought I would tribute.
Also, he's the only one I dont feel goofy portraying, considering his face isn't angellic and perfect in every way so i won't feel like a troll when I catch my own reflection at the Con. Yup.
BUT I think I'm going to run with Fem!Ash, instead of trying to be straight up Ash.. I have to rewatch the eps with him in to be sure..
Maybemaybe..
