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10:16 a.m. - 2020-04-16
you know i'll never be the same again
Already went out this morning, slid around on the ice covered roads to get some gatorade for my gramma, she's been sick for three days, and she's blaming it on the antibiotics she got to treat a uti, but antibios dont usually make you puke.. and her fever isnt any better.

Both her and mom were tested for covid, and results are negative. They still have to self isolate for the full two weeks though? I dont understand half the shit the health unit is doing, very little of it makes sense.

So I dropped off the gatorade, stood 6 ft away andcalled mom on my phone. she came out and we had a conversation. She's pretty worried about gramma.

Just now she texted me asking if I can check at the pharmacy for a finger pulse oximeter, so she's worried about O2 sat levels too, gramma has COPD, so this isn't a new thing, but

ugh youngest is in the living room coughing up a lung, i dont understand why a ten year old would have a smokers cough in the mornings?? Doctor pretty much shrugged when I asked him about it last year... just another one of ~those things~ that we are supposed to let lie. Allergies to dust maybe? Poor kid if that's what it is, it will be a long time before im able to regularly dust without causing a pain flare, if ever.

Anyway, I looked up these finger O2 things on amazon, I can get one on there for $50 but the shipping says May... but that's also what it said for my leg pillow and the other junk I bought last week and it came this week, so that's a plan B, if my pharmacy doesn't have one.

C's bday present was shipped and is maybe on it's way over that ocean that some people call The Pond, I hope he gets it by the 20th, then it will be less than a week late.. I also hope he likes it. hopehopehope

Dad texted this morning too, asking about his Dark Tower books, but Im guessing that one of his lady friends took them with her when she left him. One lady friend in particular who likes reading a LOT. The one who last summer said she couldnt handle being his lifelong friend anymore because he's "too negative". It fucking runs in the family, this complete lack of loyalty from people who are supposed to be our friends. (This is a 20+ year friendship that she dissolved btw)

So Im going to look up amazon costs for that too, if they dont show up then I can get him the first three books as a gift or something, i dunno. that idea is fizzling. maybe i'll offer to order them for him since he hates computery stuff, and currently i cant show him how to order it on his own.

Also, why are trails and stuff closed.. they need to figure out something, like hike at your own risk or something and not close them with penalties of fines and shit. Its just turning into neighbours nosing in on neighbours and squealing on them...

There's got to be a better way then closing them completely and denying people that like wandering in nature to help their anxiety/boredom access to these spaces. We are packed in like sardines at the grocery stores but we can't go for a walk in the woods? Shit seems super backwards.

Can you hear me? 'Cause I'm lost
And I may never come back again
And while my heart keeps holding on
I know I'll never be the same again
It talks to me, it holds my hand
It showers me with things I can't understand
It has no reason, it knows no time
It's constantly watching, so it's not left behind



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