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12:36 a.m. - 2020-06-05
Got a message on insta from the daughter of the lady that babysat my kiddos when they were littles. The daughter of the lady that potty trained both kids, and taught them manners, and kept them sane in the years when I was trying to raise the two of them alone and worked full time, and couldnt wash dishes because i would end up in a ball on the floor sobbing.

Anyway, I got a message from her daughter, thanking me for allllll the stories I've posted and the links to donations and petitions and infographics and all that other stuff that I didn't know if it was helping but I had to do ~something~ and instagram is the only thing I have that I can check to see if people are actually watching it or not..I've posted some stuff on facebook, but honestly i dont give a shit about the people on there.. so many I don't interact with at all at this point, and im really only keeping it because Ive had it for so long?
but since I got this message I'll stop checking the thing that tells me which people are watching what and trust that Im posting enough, and posting enough things that people havent seen before, rather then the same videos and pics going around and around and around..

It was nice, to know that at least I've helped one 18 yr old white girl from a white family in a white town understand why people are protesting against the police

I mean, on top of my own kids, who I'm basically turning into a couple of radicals. Well, Eldest more, because I've shown him more details about the politics and history (and Canadian history too, because holy fuck everyone seems to have forgotten about First Nations people ???? wtf).
Youngest only gets the broadest of strokes, because his heart bruises so so easily, he just cares so fucking much for everyone. So I've been trying to tell him slowly, giving him lots of time to ask questions and absorb it. I think it would be easier for him if he could talk to other family members about it, but who knows if we will get to the point of being able to hang out with any of them before the second wave hits...

So on facebook ive shared a few things, instagram a bunch more because thats where the friends and family i care about hang out, and twitter ive just completely lost my chill and im retweeting everything that looks even remotely like it needs boosting, because its seems to be a good source for alternative news type stuff, and also thats where i learned how to make a lightweight shield.

tumblr is... basically all of that except Ive curated my feed so incredibly carefully that it's exactly the balance I need to keep the anxiety headache from forming. I keep up to date on shit happening in the world, but also there are other goth aesthetic posts and music posts and various sit the fuck down and get a coffee because you are going to read a thing that is going to teach you about something you didn't even know existed and it's going to be paaages long.

alright it's 1am and im just rambling about socials for no reason im going to bed so i have a hope of getting the garbage out tomorrow morning before the truck comes at 815am



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